You’re more likely to stick to what’s familiar because it feels safe, even if it’s detrimental to your health & well-being (hi, human ️)which is why you see your patterns but don’t feel capable of changing them to serve your highest good.“Why do I do this?!”: Aoiding & suppressing what’s coming up brings short-term comfort & relief. It feels good to the brain in the moment, but doing this actively fuels & reinforces your fear, anxiety & feelings of being “stuck” longterm.
Things we tend to avoid that cause anxiety
-People
-Situations
-Environments
-Conversations or conflict
The messaging we receive when it comes to this is often, “Feel the fear & do it anyway!’ Unfortunately, it doesn’t really work like that. Especially if you’ve experienced trauma & don’t feel safe or capable to do so.
“Avoidance coping” is something that refers to choosing your behavior based on trying to avoid or escape particular thoughts or feelings.
Doing this long-term causes discomfort & dis-ease in the mind, body & spirit. I encourage you to learn how to properly process & release guilt, shame & self-blame about this because avoidance might be more familiar to you than the feeling of actually ‘doing the thing’. So of course you choose it time & time again!
If your thoughts are along the lines of, “I want to release my anxiety rooted in avoidance but I don’t know how & honestly, trying feels like it will make it worse, so I’ll stick with what I know & repeat this pattern.” Then I have news for you, love: it’s time to do your work & heal. Why? Because learning how to get to the root of avoidant behavior will help decrease anxiety & rebuild trust in the relationship you have with yourself. This will create safety, stability & a calm state of being so that you can lead a grounded, confident life. You know, the one you came here for? 😉
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