I remember it well. 

Insides churning, heart rate spiking. Embarrassment. Just a few words, a photo or a sign. That’s all it took.

My stomach would drop.

I’d start questioning myself.

I was too afraid to sit with it, so I’d rush to find something, anything, to distract me. To pull me out of this feeling. To make sense of it.

What did I do wrong?

What should I have I done differently?

How could I be so stupid to think this would work?

My eyes would start to sting.

Can somebody please come wrap their arms around me & tell me that it wasn’t my fault? That I did my best? That life will go on despite this feeling that’s swallowing me whole? Can somebody please rush to my side & tell me how good I am? Anybody?

That was my life. I spent my entire childhood, teens & early 20’s doing anything & everything to prove my worth.

To gain love.

To be seen.

To be heard.

To feel valued.

I was a little girl giving everything to avoid a feeling that, unbeknownst to me, would ultimately shape me into the woman I am today. I wish I would have known, because I would have stopped running. I would have faced my fear of rejection with shaky hands, an uneasy stomach & hot tears in my eyes. If I could go back, I would swiftly swoop little B up, dust her off & tell her to stop hiding. Get up, sis. Let’s go. That’s not for you.

But rejection doesn’t work that way.

It’s ours to own when it presents itself.. on our own. Alone. 

Life wants you to feel it. It wants you to listen to it. It wants you to learn from it. & then it wants you to trust that it’s leading you elsewhere.

Rejection is painful. I don’t care what anyone says; it is. Every single aspect of our life has the potential to hit us with rejection. That’s why it’s so important for us to understand it.

If I could go back & tell my younger self one thing it would be this: do not forfeit your self-worth when you’re faced with disapproval or rejection. If you do, you will lose yourself. You won’t find the woman you’re meant to be, because she is standing on the other side of your pain that you won’t get close to. She’s right there waiting for you with her chin held high, arms wide open, graciously giving you the space you need to find her. & she’s far from scared, babe. She’s powerful & poised & unbreakable. She knows her worth, because she gave it to herself. In fact, her greatest passion is helping others find their worth. 

So breathe. You are okay, you are valuable, you will move through this. You do not need someone to tell you how good you are; you need to do the work within so that your worth can withstand the storm of Becoming. 

Someday, the love you have for yourself will be a deep inner knowing.

Sweet girl, do the work so that your worth does not disappear the second you’re told no.

Having the wrong answer when you raised your hand in class & were made fun of.. Being too afraid to raise your hand or speak up for many years to follow. 

Spending time in the library alone at recess because the words in each chapter made you feel like you weren’t alone. 

The ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ text. The breakup. The abuse.

The moment you see him with another woman.. He’s not the one, baby.

The job you give everything to that has nothing for you.

The friend that you opened up to that broke your trust.

The application that gets rejected to the college you’ve dreamed of.

You will be rejected dozens of times in life & it’s up to you to fine tune that beautiful soul & resilient mind to get back up & keep going.

Learn to see rejection as redirection. As guidance from God, the Universe, Spirit, Angels, your Inner Guide. Call it what you want. But trust it.

It’s life saying, “Hey love, you’re a lil’ off track. Let me set you straight, okay?”

It’s guidance & in many ways, life’s way of protecting you from the unforeseen.

So if you’re feeling rejected, find comfort that there’s a purpose behind the pain & denial.

Something much, much bigger is on it’s way to you. Something that’s yours. Something no one can take away from you.

Wait for it.. baby. Wait for it. I have it here with me, and I’m waiting for you to walk through your pain so that I can share it with you. 

Love, Coach B