“Are your feelings hurt?” I spit out a sharp “No.” in response.

He looked at me. “Well, it kind of seems like they are. If so, it’s okay.”

This time I sat with his words. As I slowly repeated what he said in my head I realized that him calling me out in a gentle way made me feel safe to soften & surrender the truth. I didn’t feel judged, I felt seen.

“I mean, yeah.. it did hurt my feelings. I feel disrespected.”

*bingo* I felt an immediate weight off my shoulders. A few more words were shared, & then we each moved on with our day.

Here’s my truth: I am a sensitive woman that prefers to embrace my feelings instead of hide from them. I’m passionate about this process because I know it’s the healthiest route.

That’s why I’m a coach; because I believe we must reveal, feel & heal. It’s why I believe in family dinners at the dining room table because we need to be seen by those we trust. It’s the reason I quickly exit relationships that lack real depth & intimacy.

I often envision emotions as these lil’ things that I need to love, listen to, nurture & hold close instead of reject. But on a very rare occasion, I have a day where I don’t let my sensitive side come out to play. I lock her inside & tell her we’ll talk later. She wiggles her fingers under the door to get my attention. I remind her that I’ll hear what she has to say in a private space. She disagrees. Excuses are made: I have meetings & people to show up for & shit to do. I can’t be soft right now. I continue to tune her out. We’ll do this later, sensitivity. I validate it by telling myself I’m “holding it down” but the truth is, I’m holding it in, and it’s toxic. Because pain is persistent. Anger throws its body into the door until it crashes down. Sadness slowly seeps into every part of our life. It all eventually comes out. At the stop light on the way home from work. When someone you love/trust asks if you’re okay. When you get upset & overreact. 

If you suppress your emotions they will swallow you whole. You’ll become a shell. You won’t feel the pain, but you also won’t feel the love, joy, and happiness. So surround yourself with people that truly see you. People that help pull the pain, sadness, and anger out of you. And then bravely open the door to let your emotions out.

Get up close and understand them.

Listen, love and nurture them.

Start there, love. Start there.